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During their first year or so of college, students will be involved (formally or informally) in assessing their skills, interests and abilities. They will do this through finding success (or failure) in courses they take, involvement in campus activities, discussions with their friends and faculty, and generally being exposed to and trying out different ideas and experiences.

Most students enter college with a very limited knowledge of the vast array of courses and majors available to them. When they begin to delve into studies that are new to them, even those who entered with a plan may be drawn to different options. This is an exciting time for students.

Here's what you can do to help:

• Support your student's exploration of new areas of study and interests. This, after all, is what education is all about.
• Affirm what you know to be areas of skill and ability he or she has consistently demonstrated. Sometimes students overlook these and need to be reminded.
• Talk with your son or daughter about the courses and activities he or she is enjoying and how well your student is doing. Students discover new things about themselves throughout the college experience. Your willingness to listen and be a sounding board will keep you in the loop.
• Don't panic if your student is excited about majoring in something like English, history or art. These can be excellent choices, particularly if they are a good match for a student's interests and skills.
• Support your son or daughter's responsible involvement in campus activities but urge this to be balanced with maintaining achievement in the classroom.
• Urge your student to seek assistance in the career center. Most institutions have assessment instruments and counselors to help students to define their skills, interests and abilities.

Generally, during the second year of college, a student begins to explore majors and career options more seriously. Many colleges and universities require that new students take a broad range of subjects to promote this exploration.

What's your role in this step of development?

• Don't insist upon a decision about a major or possible career choice immediately. If you sense that your student's indecision is a barrier to positive progress, urge that he or she look for assistance in the career center. Students often have difficulty making a "final" choice because they fear they may close off options and make a wrong choice.
• Suggest that your son or daughter talk with faculty and career advisers about potential choices.
• Don't assume that if your child chooses to major in English, history, philosophy, or some other "impractical" major that he or she will never get a job. Liberal arts studies sharpen skills which are critical to the "package" employers are seeking: strong written and oral communication skills, problem-solving skills, the ability to synthesize information and excellent research skills.
• Suggest learning a foreign language and developing computer skills. Both of these skills can be helpful in today's market, no matter what career field he or she chooses.
• Direct your child to family, friends, or colleagues who are in fields in which your student has an interest. Informational interviewing with people can be extremely helpful at this stage!
• Steer your student toward a source of information. Many campuses have a career consultant or mentoring network of alumni in various career fields who are willing to share information with students about their careers. These resources are invaluable both in this exploratory stage and later as students are seeking internships and jobs.

Here's what you need to do:

• Encourage your student to use the resources available at the campus career center. Experts there will assist your student in preparing a good resume and finding opportunities to test their career choices, including internships, cooperative education programs and summer job listings. Most career centers are in direct contact with employers.
• Tell your student that you understand the importance of their gaining exposure to and experience in his or her field of career interest. Broadening experience through involvement outside the classroom is a valuable use of time.
• Internships or summer experiences in some very competitive fields may be non-paying. Also, a good opportunity may be in a distant location. Discuss your financial expectations with your student before a commitment is made.
• Don't conduct the internship or summer job search for your student. It's a great help to provide networking contacts or names of people who may be helpful, however, making the contact and speaking for your student deprives him or her of an important learning experience — and may make a poor impression on the future employer.

The senior year is when organizing and conducting a job search or graduate school search begins in earnest. It is also a time when students are heavily involved in more advanced courses in their majors and often have more responsible roles in campus and/or volunteer activities. Balancing these important pursuits and setting priorities is a constant challenge for seniors.

You are probably anxious for this young adult to make a decision — and yet, he or she may be moving toward closure more slowly than you would wish.

There are a number of ways you can lend support during this challenging time.

• Suggest that he or she use the campus career center throughout the senior year. These offices provide assistance in preparation for the job search and offer
  • Workshops and individual help with resume and cover letter writing, interviewing and other job-search skills
  • Individual and group career advising
  • A library of books and bookmarks to web sites with links to job resources
  • On-campus interviewing opportunities
  • Alumni career consultant or mentor programs may also be a part of their services
• Don't nag your student about not having a job yet. This will often have the reverse effect. Use positive reinforcement.
• Offer to assist by sending information you may have found about the career field of your student's choice and job listings that may be of interest. Listen for indications from the student that you are getting carried away — and back off.
• Don't call potential employers to intervene for your student. Contact with potential employers is the candidate's responsibility.
• Be prepared to support your student through the ups and downs of the job and graduate school search. It can be a bumpy road. Not every desired job or graduate school acceptance will come through. Your student will need reassurance that for every door that closes, another opens.

The college years are a time of exploration, experimentation and learning on many levels for students and their parents. Some student challenges may seem more positive than others, but all contribute to the educational outcomes of the college or university experience.

Throughout these years, students are developing a record of achievement which will be evaluated by employers and graduate schools as they move beyond college. There are several pieces of this record:

• Academic Achievement. Although it is not (and should not be) the primary factor in determining a candidate's success, the grade point average (GPA) is one factor considered by competitive employers and graduate schools. It is one of the few tangible indications of a student's ability to learn and perform effectively, at least in the academic environment. Therefore, students need to do as well as possible in the classroom, especially in courses in their majors.
• Responsible Work Experience. In today's competitive employment market, many employers seek students who have related internship, summer, cooperative education, or part-time job or volunteer experiences. In fact, employers often look to their own such programs as primary sources for their new hires. These experiences are particularly critical for liberal arts students whose majors may not appear to be directly related to their areas of career interest.
• Responsible Involvement Outside the Classroom. Extracurricular activities provide the opportunity for students to gain many valuable and career-related skills such as the ability to work effectively with others in a team environment; leadership; planning and organizational skills; and priority-setting and time management. These are part of the package of skills employers seek in their new hires.

Best of luck to you in navigating the challenging waters of parenting a college or university student.

Copyright National Association of Colleges and Employers. All rights reserved. This article cannot be republished in any form (print or electronic) without written permission of NACE.